The Hammocks
Guiding one family's final chapter
Hospice chaplain Steve Gross helped guide John Hammock through the loss of his wife.
When colleagues John Hammock and Steve Gross took walks together in the 1980s and 90s, they talked about many things: marriages, births, and their work for an organization that lent money to Latin Americans lacking credit. Hammock and his wife were raising two young daughters, while Gross, a former Jesuit priest, was shaping a new life.
They lost touch, as friends sometimes do. Years later, when they began walking again, the conversation was different — now it was about dying. Hammock's wife, Tina, had a brain tumor and was receiving care from HealthCare Dimensions Hospice (HCDH). Coincidentally, Gross had begun work there as one of the hospice's two chaplains shortly after HCDH was acquired by Dana-Farber in April 2002, and would now accompany Hammock in the final chapter of his wife's cancer journey.
During the next month, the family learned about hospice as an extension of the care they received at Dana-Farber, and they saw how important its role was in helping them say good-bye.
"When John and Tina sought my help, I saw a wonderful family that was going through this with great awareness," recalls Gross. "They felt the pain of Tina's dying but were not overcome by it. All one could do was applaud and thank them for setting the example they did."
When families enter the hospice program, they are asked if they would like a chaplain to visit. Some inquire, "What does a hospice chaplain do?" He or she offers presence, Gross explains, and along with other caregivers, helps patients and families achieve a "good death": one that involves knowledge, respect, love, comfort, and support.
This is what the Hammock family achieved together on May 19.
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