The Hammocks
Guiding one family's final chapter
The silence of loss
Today, the wave of support and good will during Tina's illness and just after her death has ebbed, and in the silence of loss, John and Ana Hammock notice that while some friends know how to help, others don't. Ana admits it was easier when her mom was dying than it is now. "That time was so intense, then our house felt empty afterwards. Now there is such a hole without mom here to ask us the details of our day."
The living room looks the way it did before Tina got sick, and with Amy away in graduate school, John and Ana are carefully shaping a new family life for two busy adults. "We don't sit down to dinner the way we used to when Tina was here," confesses John. "I've got to work on that."
The reality of Tina's death hits him at odd moments, he says. "The saddest part is knowing she will not grow old with me or watch the girls age." Looking back, he sees hospice and cure as compatible goals, just as Tina did. "The body that's sick is broader than the patient; it includes the family," he reflects. "When it's time to say good-bye, hospice helps that body to heal."
Story by Christine Cleary
To learn more about the Hammock family's experience with cancer, you can order their 118-page book, "An Open Approach to Living with Cancer." It includes introductions by John and Tina Hammock, e-mail messages between the family and friends during Tina's illness, and readings and reflections from the memorial service. For more information, please e-mail john.hammock@tufts.edu.
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